fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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