Your tits are I can't wait for
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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