I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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