I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize