Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize