ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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