party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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