I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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