There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize