a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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