Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
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There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
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Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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