Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize