Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He did a backflip because drugs
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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