a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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