I haven't been this sober since birth.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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