Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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