All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
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100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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