He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize