Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize