think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
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But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
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I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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