Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
we're so committed to being not committed
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