College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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