So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
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Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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