i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize