Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
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I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
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Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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