i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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