No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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