My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
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Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize