Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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