Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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