Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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