Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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