You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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