I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize