I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize