I need help removing her.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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