Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
