What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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