hell yes lets make some ravioli
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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