Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize