So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize