Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize