Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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