you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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