So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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