He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
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HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
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I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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