I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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