i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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