Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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