Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize