She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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